Posted by admin on May 25th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement
As a certified NLP trainer, I am often asked, “What is NLP?”
The term NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming and was coined in the early seventies by John Grinder, an assistant professor of linguistics at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and Richard Bandler, a student of psychology at the university. They began their work by studying Fritz Perls, a psychotherapist and originator of the Gestalt school of therapy, Virginia Satir, a well-known family therapist and Milton Erickson, a world-famous hypnotherapist. Their intention was to model outstanding therapists and identify patterns in order that other practitioners could use these patterns to generate similar results. It may be said that NLP is about identifying excellence through an exploration of patterns, and then devising means for others to use those patterns to achieve similar results.
NLP also draws on earlier work, such as Ivan Pavlov’s conditioned reflexes (1904). In NLP this is called anchoring. NLP takes theoretical results developed by others and makes them available to you and me so we can improve our lives and well-being.
NLP is more than just techniques. It is a curiosity about how people who are high achievers accomplish what they actually set out to do. It is also a methodology that assists you in discovering those thinking and communication patterns that prevent you from being successful and shows you how to achieve the results of successful people. That is, NLP is a process of discovering the patterns of excellence of experts, and it makes these effective ways of thinking and communicating available for others to use for their own benefit or to assist others.
NLP had its origins in therapy and is now applied in all areas of human endeavor - education, health, sports, business and, perhaps most importantly, interpersonal relations.
Let us break down and analyze the terms neuro-linguistic programming.
Neuro refers to your neurology - sense organs. It is about how you absorb information. For example, you use your eyes to see things in your world. You also experience or perceive events through your other senses: aural (hearing), kinesthetic (tactile touch or emotional feeling), gustatory (taste) and olfactory (smell).
Linguistic refers to the language - pictures, sounds, feelings (kinesthetic), tastes, smells and words - that you use to remember and make sense of a particular experience (or to forecast a future experience). For example, can you recall your breakfast this morning? When you remember having breakfast, can you see a picture in your mind, or can you hear sounds (perhaps a radio was on or you were engaged in a discussion with your family)? What about tastes and smells? And how were you feeling - happy, tired, excited?
Think about a significant event in your near future. Do you envision yourself being successful? Or failing? The pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells and words that you use to describe future experiences have a bearing on what actually happens. You do create your own reality!
Programming refers to your habits, patterns, programs and strategies. If it is a workday, do you follow a particular routine as you get ready for work? Perhaps you like to lie in bed an extra five minutes after the alarm goes off. Do you shower or bathe right away or have breakfast first? If you take time to look at what you do, I am certain you will see a pattern that you follow in getting ready for work. If for some reason you do not follow that pattern, do you find yourself feeling that something is missing?
You have patterns, habits, strategies and programs for everything you do. Some of these patterns serve you, but others do not - resulting in unwanted outcomes. You may be fully aware of some of your patterns. You may become aware of others only when someone else brings them to your attention. And you may choose to quickly forget about these patterns because you want to avoid addressing that part of your life. And there are still other patterns that you are not aware of at all, yet they continue to influence how you look after yourself, communicate with others and perform your daily tasks. If the patterns serve you - that is, generate positive results in your life - great! However, if you find that some patterns do not serve you, would it not be useful to identify those patterns and to change them so they work to your advantage?
Question: Who put your patterns, habits, strategies and programs in place? Of course, you did. So who can change them? Only you. But first, you must become aware that you run these patterns. This is one of the biggest benefits of NLP - becoming aware of the patterns, habits, strategies and programs that you have been running unconsciously and then using NLP techniques to change them in order to achieve the outcomes you desire.
About the Author: Roger Ellerton is a certified NLP trainer, certified management consultant and the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies Inc. (www.renewal.ca). He can be reached at info@renewal.ca. This article is an extract from his book Live Your Dreams - Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You (www.live-your-dreams.biz).
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Posted by admin on May 1st, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement
In the philosophical teachings that form the base for our Warrior Concepts Life Mastery Program, there is a model by which we can examine our thoughts, words, and actions from eight distinct perspectives. These eight “paths” which contribute to both who we are and how we associate with the world around us include our:
1. View or perspective of ourselves and the world
2. Thoughts from moment-to-moment
3. Words and the way we communicate our thoughts with the outside world
4. Deeds or actions and the way we demonstrate to others what and how we think and see things
5. Effort and the way we spend our time and energy
6. Livelihood - including not only what we do to make a living but also where we choose to live and with whom to associate
7. Concentration and what we choose to focus on and to what degree
8. Awareness - what, how much, and the scope of what we can associate with within ourselves and the world around us.
These eight serve as the starting point for growing beyond our own limited narrow vision of what we or the world can and should be. And the world, as I’ve used it here, does not imply or mean that “worldly” in that you have to know people or have visited Paris, France or Butzbach, Germany for example. It means the world, “your” world around you - the one you live and connect with every day.
My focus in this article is on two of these - Action and Effort - and how they directly relate to what we normally call discipline.
It seems to me that everyone has beliefs about the way things are, what they want to do with their lives, or what others should be doing to fix their own. In fact, our own Mastery Program is nothing but a set of beliefs or theories about the way things could be done. Until . . .
. . . they are put into action with the right disciplined effort and proven to the student by his or her own experience. (In short, you must prove it to yourself!)
It is extremely important for each of us to understand that we are not “preaching” here. Nor are we “nailing lifts onto the native’s feet” because we think everyone should be doing things “our way or no way at all.” It is important to understand that our program is designed for those who are looking for workable solutions to some of life’s most challenging problems. Each is specifically designed for adults or parents who want not only theory, but experience from experts who have solved some of the same issues and challenges that they face or may face in the future.
To be honest though, just coming to class will do little for being able to use what is learned outside of class in a real-life situation unless the lessons are put to use on a daily basis. Much as going to church will do little if the lessons received do not extend beyond the cathedral walls.
I am not advocating getting into fights or looking for trouble here. Just that practice with any new skill is required until that skill becomes second-nature or feels, what some would call, “natural.” And practice, as I use it and apply it to my own life, is not merely the setting aside of the 15 or 30 minutes that we recommend. For many, even this small time frame seems unthinkable when compared to their average daily schedule.
No, what I’m talking about is taking new skills and finding ways to practice them throughout the day. I’m sure that you believe as I do that no attacker is going to give you time to stretch or “arm-up” before they attack you. So, we must do so on a regular basis (more than the twice a week class), whenever we can. A simple example would be to remember to stretch your hands and wrists while talking on the telephone or your ankles while sitting at your desk, in traffic, etc.
Other examples include practicing the arm movement for striking whenever you find yourself reaching out to open a door or shake someone’s hand; sitting on the floor to watch television (stretching at the same time of course) and rolling to get up; and of course, practicing your “ninja-walking” whenever your . . . Walking!
Parents should also remember that, to a child, “practice” as we think of it is rarely fun or exciting, and forcing a child to practice in an adult fashion will probably be counterproductive and may even lead to your son or daughter not wanting to do martial arts any more.
A better solution for a child, one that also let’s them see that you are interested in what they are learning and shows them that you think this is important, is to make up games or activities that allow them to practice their skills in an atmosphere that makes them “want” to. Examples include using the questions or vocabulary in their curriculum as “bait” to get a cookie, some candy or whatever the current “want” is. Betting or daring them that they can’t do something like stay balanced on one foot for a minute or stay in a correct, low ichimonji for 30 seconds, etc. Children need to know that you approve of them and their progress. If you want to get more from your child, point out more of what they are doing right. Reward effort and avoid only pointing out the negative. Remember: Do so may foster the attitude that, “I can’t do it right,” or, “I’ll just disappoint them or get in trouble anyway. So why even try?”
Up to this point, I’ve discussed the need for proper action to gain experience and progress in skill but what about this “effort” thing? After all, isn’t the giving of 100% what we’re after? Well - yes and no.
The only thing I have to say about effort is that, it is important to walk the talk. If you say that it is important to do something or that you should, then the appropriate amount of effort should be given to that ‘thing,’ even if it means not giving so much energy or effort to something that may feel better but not be leading you where you want to go.
So - right action . . . The proper ‘doing’ of what needs to be done to gain the results we’re after. And - right effort . . . Putting the appropriate amount of energy, time and resources (money, supplies, etc.) Into something based on it’s level of importance to the big picture of all that we are, do and want to become.
It all adds up to this: “You are either what you want to be, or what you have allowed yourself to become.”
Disciplined action and sufficient effort are the keys to success. Not just in the martial arts; but in school or work; at home; and in the community. In short, they are the keys to success in life.
Jeffrey M. Miller is the founder and master instructor of Warrior Concepts International. A senior teacher in the Japanese warrior art of Ninjutsu, he specializes in teaching the ancient ways of self-protection and personal development lessons in a way that is easily understood and put to use by modern Western students and corporate clients. Through their martial arts training, his students and clients learn proven, time-tested lessons designed to help them create the life they’ve always dreamed of living, and the skills necessary for protecting that life from anything that might threaten it. Shidoshi Miller is also the author of the “Foundations of Self Defense Mastery” eCourse. To learn more about this and other subjects related to the martial arts, self-defense, personal development & self-improvement, or to get information about sponsoring a seminar, lecture, presentation with this dynamic speaker, visit his website.
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Posted by admin on April 15th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement
Our list continues with nine more effective methods for closing a deal. Whether it’s in the workplace, your home, or other situation, negotiating skills can help keep everyone satisfied. Follow up solid negotiations with a strong close, and chances are you’ll achieve your goals. (Don’t miss the first eight closing tips in Closing the Deal: Negotiating Your Way to Happiness Part 3.)
9. Sometimes, you have to give something to get something.
Making reasonable compromises fosters a team atmosphere, helping both sides achieve their goal. (Guys: for every action film to which you’ve dragged your girl, surely you can put up with a “chick-flick” on occasion.)
10. Decide the American way: Vote.
It doesn’t necessarily guarantee the right answer, but it’s accepted as “Truth, Justice, and the American Way.” (This solves the “where to go for dinner with friends” dilemma every time!)
11. Take a walk down memory lane.
Calling on past solutions often works to resolve present difficulties.
12. Call for help!
Sometimes another viewpoint is all that’s needed to present your position to the other side. (Girls: your sister is probably not the best person to call if you’re negotiating with your spouse.)
13. Solve your problems through arbitration.
Bring in a neutral party to sort out the pros and cons of the issues. This is particularly helpful when there are multiple parties involved.
14. Break an impasse with an expert’s help.
Ask an expert (industry, social, etc. depending on your situation) to present pertinent information to both sides in an effort to arrive at a solution (Redecorating? Call HGTV! Heck, they might even do it for you.)
15. Always keep your word.
Be sure you’re willing to stand by your promise or trust will be broken, and you’ll destroy your credibility for next time.
16. It helps to put it in writing.
Putting your agreement in writing prevents one or both parties from forgetting, or misinterpreting the terms.
17. Shake on it.
Using a symbolic gesture to wrap up a deal gives it a note of finality. This can be anything from a handshake to a kiss (don’t try this at work!).
Want more negotiation tips? Go back to RK Auto Group Closing the Deal Part 3.
Don’t miss the first set of articles in this RK Auto Group series: Negotiate Your Way to Happiness.
© 2006 RK Auto Group
Tom Kline is Controller of RKAutoGroup.net (RK Buick, RK Chevrolet, RK Subaru, RK Scion and RK Toyota).
During his 15-year tenure Kline has worked in the Sales Department of RK Auto Group, Parts, Service and Body Shop, Leasing, Collections, and Management Information Services.
RK Auto Group, located in Southeast Virginia, has been recognized as one of the top 100 Chevrolet dealerships in the nation. Founded in 1964, this award-winning dealership sells approximately 9,000 vehicles per year.
RK Chevrolet is the recipient of Chevrolet Motor Division’s coveted Service Supremacy Award four years in a row. This is an award which less than 8% of the nation’s Chevrolet dealers have won. In 1998, RK received the prestigious “Genuine Leaders Award” for excellence in sales, service, and customer satisfaction.
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Posted by admin on April 5th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement
Three years ago, Paul left his corporate job to launch his freelance writing career, and he’s done relatively well. He has a group of regular clients that keep him going, and they are happy with his work.
When he first called me, he expressed concern over the sustainability of his business. “Even though I’ve got great relationships with my clients, and they send me enough assignments to keep my business going, I have this nagging fear of losing them.
If I lost one or two at the same time, I would really be in trouble. I really don’t like feeling this vulnerable. I don’t feel like I’m in control of my own business.”
“Okay, let’s say that happened,” I prompted him. “How long would it take you to get each new client to take their place?” “I’m not sure,” he stammered. “I don’t really keep track of those things. I’m scared to even think about it.”
“But that’s why we’re working together. So you can look at these aspects of your business. So you’ll be prepared for the unexpected. I know it can be scary, so let’s look at it together.”
Paul and I continued to discuss this topic during our next four coaching calls. During that time, he plotted out his prospecting process, developed a system for tracking leads and prospects as they traveled through the system, and created a spreadsheet that showed him the status of each prospect at any given time.
With these figures, he was able to calculate how many leads he needed to generate in order to meet his sales goals. As a result, he now feels much more in control of his business and knows exactly what he must do in order to ensure his business’ survival.
None of us can predict when a client will move, lose money they budgeted for our services, take our function in-house or choose another vendor, but we can prepare ourselves to respond to these types of things so they have the least amount of impact on the viability of our business.
Do you know how many leads you have to generate in order to get a new client? 5? 10? 25? 50? Although industry guidelines may be available, what you really need to know is how many prospects YOU have to approach in order to get one new client.
Knowing this number tells you what results you need to be getting from your marketing efforts and knowing that tells you whether or not your marketing efforts are sufficient to reach your annual sales goals.
Let’s say you want to increase your sales by $18,000 over the next 12 months, and you know that, on average, each client spends $1200/year with you. That means you have to bring on 15 new clients in the next 12 months ($18,000 divided by $1,200).
Note that you’ll need to go into more detail in order to calculate your own numbers since in this scenario the average client spends $1,200/year with you, but if you don’t bring him/her on until 6 months from now, you’ll only be making $600 in the 12 month period we’re looking at. But let’s run with what we’ve got for the purposes of this example.
So you have to bring on 15 additional clients. If you also know that you have to generate 10 qualified prospects for every person that becomes a client, then you’ll have to generate 150 additional prospects this year (15 clients * 10 qualified prospects).
Therefore, in order to generate $18,000 more in sales you need to come up with some marketing methods that will generate 150 additional prospects above and beyond those you are currently generating.
Although this is not an exact science, it does give you some numbers on which to focus in order to make your progress toward your goal more measurable. This measurability allows you to chart your progress throughout the year which, in turn, increases the likelihood that you’ll reach your goals as you are able to make mid-course corrections.
It worked for Paul, and it can work for you!
So, now’s the time to ask yourself — are you filling your prospecting funnel?
For the first three years of my web design business, I just took what came my way. I did what I thought would bring in business and waited for the results. I did very little analysis of the process, so I was never able to predict what activities I needed to do in order to get my desired results.
A few years ago, a management consultant introduced me to the idea of the prospecting funnel. It’s a way to track your prospecting process so you know how many prospects are in each stage at any given time.
Over time, you are able to predict how many prospects you need to generate in order to produce one new client. This helps you set realistic sales goals, plan effective marketing efforts and budget sufficient marketing dollars.
On a blank piece of paper, draw a large funnel taking up the whole page. To the right of the funnel, starting at the top, write the first step of your prospecting process (for example, first contact with prospect at networking meeting, cold call, web site query, etc.).
Below that, leaving a little space between the two, write the second step of your prospecting process (for example, scheduling a meeting). Continue writing the subsequent steps of your prospecting process, one below the other, until you reach the bottom of the funnel. The last step should be the one where the prospect becomes a client (for example, you receive the signed contract back with a deposit check).
Now, go back to the top of the funnel and for each stage that you identified, write how many prospects you have who are currently at that stage. Write these figures inside the funnel. If you have room, you can write the names of the prospects that are at each stage.
Now, you may want to create a spreadsheet that helps you track when the prospect entered your system, when they hit each stage and when they became a client. You can use the first column to write prospect names and other columns to write each prospecting step. Then, each row, reading from left to right, can show what date the prospect entered each stage of your prospecting process.
Over time, you’ll be able to come back to your spreadsheet to calculate the number of prospects it takes to generate one new client and the amount of time it takes, on average, to convert a new prospect into a customer.
Once you’ve refined your prospecting system and funnel, you may want to create a giant version of the funnel on a flipchart where you can write each prospect’s name on a sticky note and move them from one stage to the next.
It can give you a great visual of your current prospecting status and show you what areas need your attention.
About The Author
Kimberly Stevens is the author of the ebook series, *The Profitable Business Owner: A Step-by-Step System for Starting & Running a Successful Service Business*. Download Sample Chapters & get her free MiniCourse, *The 10 Most Common Mistakes Business Owners Make & How To Avoid Them* at: http://www.askthebizcoach.com/ebooks.htm
kim@askthebizcoach.com
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Posted by admin on April 1st, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement
Growing up, I always loved music, admired musicians, and still do. When I
entered college, a friend in my freshman dorm played the harmonica. I was
fascinated and envious. I had always wanted to play an instrument but we could
never afford lessons, let alone the ability to buy an instrument. But, when this guy
told me he bought it for two dollars, my heart leapt. Even I could afford that paltry
sum. So I immediately ran down to the local department store and bought my own.
It wasn’t until I got back to my room I realized I couldn’t play a note. It drove my
roommate crazy and so I had to resort to playing in the bathroom or stairwell. I
shouldn’t use the term “playing” at this juncture. It was making noise on a very
irritating level at best. But every spare minute between classes and studying, I
tackled “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” and other classics.
About three months later, I could play four or five nursery rhymes. Hey, it’s a
start. With this major accomplishment under my belt, I moved on to show tunes. My
family always had Broadway show music around like Camelot and Oklahoma, so,
naturally I gravitated toward what I knew. Later, I would try out the Beatles and the
Stones. By my senior year, I could play by ear. If I could hear it, I could play it.
Playing the harmonica was very therapeutic and satisfying. Then a few years later,
when I was at the home of a friend with a piano, they suggested that perhaps my
ear training could translate to the piano. I explained that I couldn’t afford a piano
and they told me to consider a cheap electric organ, which still used the same
keyboard.
I found a used table-top organ in the newspaper for about twenty dollars and
was excited. It was small with only three octaves, but it played well enough. Within a
few weeks, I was able to manage my nursery rhymes, all by ear. I was now in my late
twenties and continued with the organ for several years. Finally I traded it in for a
larger floor model and learned to play just about anything. There was only one
problem: I couldn’t read music or play any chords. So I got a few pieces of sheet
music for Broadway shows and gave it a try. By the time I was forty, I taught myself
chords and how to read music. I bought a cheap keyboard, finally graduating from
the organ. A few years later, I bought a proper keyboard with all the great features
allowing me to play many instrumental sounds.
With my new toy, I decided to expand my horizons and began collecting sheet
music from every genre from classic rock of the 50’s to jazz and blues. Recently, I
got a guitar for Christmas and am determined to learn to play my third instrument. I
actually played in the church band for a few years and really enjoyed the experience.
So why am I telling you this? Because it saved my life. No, I wasn’t dying of a rare
disease where music controlled the cancer or anything like that. Instead, it allowed
me to close out the rest of the crazy, stress-filled world and play the melodies and
harmonies that could soothe my muddled mind. It could transport me back in time
to my college days of the Jefferson Airplane when “White Rabbit” ruled the airwaves
or to “Tommy, the rock opera.” I could escape the rigors of social or economic
issues and relax.
I can’t think of a better way to lose yourself or push away the daily grind. It is
more than just therapeutic: it’s regenerating and energizing. I figure that if a forty
year old can teach himself to play, then anyone can. I started with the harmonica.
But discovered that it was one of the harder instruments to play because you can’t
see the holes and, therefore, have to play by ear. You can get a cheap keyboard and
tap out a tune in minutes. There are dozens of lessons on the Internet and
keyboards that are self-teaching using lights and technology.
The point is, it’s one of the least expensive ways to enjoy yourself and can be
enriching and rewarding. You don’t have to become a concert pianist to enjoy
yourself. You can plug in some earphones so you don’t annoy anyone around you
and it uses almost no electricity. I guarantee, whatever age you are, you can learn to
play and will be grateful when you have mastered even a few simple songs. It’s fun,
entertaining, and will give you endless hours of pleasure. If you have never
considered learning to play, make it a priority this year. No, I don’t work for
Baldwin, but I believe in the power of music. It’s an idea and a gift, from me to you.
And it just might save your life from boredom.
Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for
nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising
and has a Master’s Degree from Monmouth University. He had his own
advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design
firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, “Pursuit of the
Phoenix,” available at amazon.com. His latest book is, “Inside the Yellow
Pages.” Currently, he is the Marketing Director for http://www.thenurseschoice.com/,
a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.
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Posted by admin on March 24th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement
Lately I’ve noticed myself so consumed by the daily tasks of being a mom, running a business, taking care of the home, organizing meals, etc…that I’ve lost touch with the here and now. I’ve realized at times when I am with my amazing children, blowing bubbles on a beautiful fall day, that I am also planning out the many other things I have on my to-do list. By the time I’ve realized this, I’ve lost the moment. Time goes by so quickly, and in a flash the many moments that make up “life” are gone. There will always be work to do, always chores to finish, deadlines and responsibilities to live up to. However, moments with your children, friends or family will have a much more lasting impression on everyone if you are fully present. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring, so be conscious of the moment you are in, breath it in and savor the experience for what it is.
ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:
1. Out of sight-out of mind
This week try to be aware of the moment for what it is. Keep work at work, and when you are home, really enjoy the time with your loved ones. Play just for the sake of playing. Realize that your work will get done when you designate time for work, at the office. Schedule time to just “be” and put work issues out of your mind, even if for just a short moment.
2. Be in the moment
Say the phrase “Be in the moment” when you find yourself thinking of other things. When playing with your children, enjoying alone time with a significant other, taking a walk, just “be” and relish what you are doing. The more you practice this this week, the more natural it will become in your life.
3. Have fun!
Need I say more:) Being in the moment will take on a life of it’s own. Try to bring fun back into everything you do. The more you balance work and play, the more productive and aware you will be in everything you do.
4. Prioritize
This week focus on prioritizing your time. It is easier to “be in the moment” when you know everything else will get done. Plan your week so you have enough alloted time for work, work related issues, and play. That way you can fully enjoy each of them knowing the rest won’t be pushed aside.
Have a great week!
Leslie Gail is a Certified Life Coach and owner of http://newlifefocus.com/. Leslie supports busy people in achieving personal and professional success without compromising their values. Leslie conducts seminars and her work has been published in The Rocky Mountain News. Leslie will help you create a new blueprint for your life. Call Leslie today at 1-866-779-0731.
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